Don’t get me wrong, I love my kids. I love hanging out with my kids. I love spending quality time with my kids. This is, however, massively dependent on where they are on the PITA scale (Pain In The Arse) and where I am on the PMTE (Parents Motivation To Entertain) scale. Usually, at the beginning of the holidays, the kids are full of excitement with the thought of not having to don their school uniform and be told what to do for 6 weeks, thus their PITA score is low. I’m also full of ideas and excited about all the things I’m planning to do with the boys and therefore my PMTE score is through the roof. Then we get on like a house on fire. Life is good. We’re laughing and joking and I’m painting this picture of being the best Dad on Earth (just like the mug tells me), wondering how anyone can get this wrong.
Then day 2 of the holidays happen. I’m flat out of ideas and the kids are bored so they entertain themselves by creating their own, not so secret, fight club and baking fake food in a real oven. Surely this years going to be different. Surely, I’ll get to the point of delivering them all back in September, wishing I just had a few more days.
Dad 0 – 1 Kids. Damn
I guess you’ll know when you see me in the clinic in those first few days of September with a massive smile on my well shaved (well relatively) face or a pining face, waiting for the next screen saver picture to come up on my ipad.
I know which one I’d put my money on.
Juggling childcare, with work, exercise and things YOU actually want to do is tough in the holidays. Try juggling with 3 of the buggers. But you can do this, right? You’ve got this!
All it takes is a plan and then to execute said plan. I certainly am not going to tell you what your plan should be, in fact, get your own plan. Either way, here’s mine:
Keep the punks outside
These boys are like dogs, you need to feed them, water them and take them for walkies. Miss any of the above and I’m in for a whole world of pain. This is where I enter the benefits of moving more (#movemore) but the reality is there’s less risk of mess for me to tidy up at home if they’re not in the house! Fact!
Dad 1 – 1 Kids
A walk in the woods, a cycle to the park with a ball and frisbee or if they’re really lucky a late afternoon stroll to the brewery.
Dad 2 – 1 Kids. Waheyy!
Cheap and cheerful days out
Generally anything we do with 3 kids is expensive. It only takes an ice cream van to spoil the cheap day out but we often forget how simple it can be. An Aerobee and a football in a park with plenty of space and a playground is more than enough. Somewhere that has a decent cafe close by too and this will weirdly be one of the days they’ll remember the most despite all the expensive attempts of entertainment.
There’s a couple parks I like taking them to, we recently rediscovered Oaken Grove, loads of space for long distance Aerobee throws, goal posts, tarmacked small pitches with basketball nets, a decent playground and a fab cafe selling quality ice cream. Ockwells is a good one to check out too!
Dad 3 – 2 Kids. This is a win-win surely!
Activity days
Not always cheap, but I’m all over paying for the relief of not having to come up with a means of entertainment. If you’re lucky you might want to get stuck in too. A patient of mine recommended a place in Bracknell, HighScore arcades, where you pay for entrance then it’s free for all, play on whatever you want for an hour and a half.
This place was a winner, the kids can’t escape if you lose them so I got massively sucked into Guitar Hero and PacMan. I couldn’t tell you what the kids played but they came to get me when we were told to leave. I did so. Kicking and screaming.
Clip and Climb and Climbing centres are high on my list too. I hate queuing though and that’s clearly passed through my DNA so we’ll probably get an hours tuition for them and hope they accept before they realise there’s 3!
Palm them off
Usually, I’d be keen to call in the support network to look after the boys but this year is a no go with Nonna still in Croatia till September (touché mum, touché) and Kasia’s family not around this year we’re having to work it all out ourselves.
Selfish.
Dad 3 – 3 Kids. Oh crap!
We’re all over kids swaps though, taking on friends’ kids on our days off in exchange for the pleasure of looking after our trio. It’s never a fair exchange really though when you take one child in exchange for three… This option so far hasn’t come to fruition yet. Strange.
Home Days
You’ve got to have an at home day right!
Let’s get tech happy with Nintendo and movie time but be prepared to spend most of the time managing whinging and a continual cycle of tidying up. With the kids all loving cooking we can set out the task of preparing an extravagant Bolognese that’ll take the majority of the afternoon and we’ll have dinner to show for it afterwards. The boys always look super proud when they’ve had a part in making dinner. Helps that they’re actually very good at it too.
Dad 4 – 3 Kids.
Bring your kids to work day
This option is usually there when I realise Kasia and I are working and we’ve somehow missed a day out on our child management calendar. This is when Super Rosie the receptionist turns into Super Childminder whilst Receptioning…person. You’ll be made well aware of these days when the phone is answered with a fart noise and giggles. Apologies in advance.
We are a very professional establishment.
Dad 5 – 3 Kids. Get in!
Clubs
When all else fails they’ll be put into clubs. The difficulty arises when 2 boys are into all things sport and 1 couldn’t be fussed about sport. Either way, football clubs (MW Football Coaching highly recommend), Barracudas and Lighthouse will definitely help the cause.
Ultimately, myself and Kasia will spend most of the summer juggling childcare, work and keeping active with the help of a Mummy and Daddy joint summer calendar. We always make it to September somehow.
Let’s hope we both make it this time at least 50% untraumatised.
Then again that’s what Whiskey is for right?
Dad 6 – 3 Kids. Full Time – I can live with that!
